


Intercalary Days

by carolinecrane



Series: down is where we came from [19]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-09
Updated: 2010-10-09
Packaged: 2017-10-12 13:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kurt continues to clean up Puck's messes and proves that he's a thoughtful gift-giver indeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intercalary Days

Puck's out the front door as soon as Kurt pulls up to the curb in front of his mother's house. The loaner he's driving is one of those big sedans, the kind with tons of leg room and probably a huge back seat, and Puck knows he should be grateful that they don't have to have it back by 5:00 or whatever, but it's not the ride he was hoping for.

He was expecting an SUV, mainly because that seems to be standard issue in the Hummel family, and SUVs have those long bench seats that you can slide across and invade the driver's personal space. Sedans, on the other hand, have bucket seats and giant, cockblocking plastic armrests that cut the front seat right in half.

Still, he can work with what he's got, and what he's got right now is Kurt's upturned mouth, leaning over the armrest to meet Puck halfway. His hand comes up to rest against Puck's cheek when Puck kisses him, fingers stroking along his skin and distracting Puck in all the right ways.

"Hi," Kurt says when Puck pulls back to look at him, voice kind of dreamy and Puck grins and kisses him again.

"You're late, babe."

"Thanks to you," Kurt says, frowning and pulling away and that's not even close to what Puck was going for.

"What'd I do?"

"Started Finn on his downward spiral," Kurt says. He rolls his eyes and starts the car, pulling back onto the street and Puck has no idea where they're going, but Kurt's obviously got a plan. A plan that definitely doesn't involve taking advantage of the giant back seat, Puck's guessing, because Kurt's jaw is clenched and now he looks kind of pissed.

"For your information, I was late because I was trapped in Finn's car giving him sex advice."

"What?" Puck blurts out, images flashing in his mind of Kurt and Finn and he knows better, but he can't turn off the movie playing in his brain once it gets started.

"He's having an identity crisis over Mr. Schuester, which you planted in his head in the first place. So really you should have been the one stuck explaining the boy-on-boy birds and the bees," Kurt answers, lips pursed when he glances over at Puck, and he'd think the two spots of bright pink in Kurt's cheeks were kind of sexy if he wasn't so busy imagining Kurt explaining gay sex to his stepbrother.

"What, he's never heard of the Internet?" Puck asks, because seriously, only fucking Hudson would ask somebody to draw him a diagram when there's endless free porn right there for the taking.

Kurt fights hard not to smile at that, but Puck's spent enough time studying his mouth to recognize the tug at the corners of his lips. Maybe the fact that Kurt thinks it's funny should make him feel better, but it really, really doesn't.

"Apparently he's a little nervous about the actual mechanics."

"So you're telling me you were late because you were explaining to Hudson how to have gay sex."

"Ew, no. I just told him to relax and try not to stress about it," Kurt says. He keeps his eyes on the road while he turns into a parking lot, but once the car rolls to a stop he looks over at Puck again. "You're not actually _jealous_ , are you? Oh, my God. If you'd kept your bizarre theories to yourself he'd still be happily clueless. Don't get upset with me for cleaning up your messes."

"Hey, all I said was that it was obvious from, like, _space_ that he's always been into Schue. How was I supposed to know Hudson was the only one who didn't know?"

"Yes, fine, you were right all along. Don't rub it in."

Kurt frowns and opens his car door, and Puck finally remembers to look up and see where they are. When he registers the store in front of him he frowns, climbing out of the passenger seat to jog across the parking lot after him. For a second he even forgets about Hudson and his sexual dysfunction, because maybe even weirder than Finn asking Kurt for sex tips is the fact that Kurt's dragging Puck into a bookstore.

"Babe, what are we doing here?" he asks as he follows Kurt inside. He's pretty sure it's his first time; not that he never picks up a book these days, but back when he was still living in Lima, it wasn't exactly high on his list of priorities. Even now the few books he does own are mostly about songwriting or music, and most of them he bought in second-hand shops or on Amazon.

This is one of those giant chain deals, the kind with a coffee shop and a bunch of geeks sitting around leeching off the free wireless and looking more sickly than usual under the florescent lights. There are displays all over the place suggesting last-minute gift ideas, and when he sees the gift wrapping station near the registers it dawns on Puck what they're doing.

"Who'd you forget to get a present for?" he asks as he follows Kurt toward the back of the store, past Psychology and Religion and the cookbook section to a group of sad-looking shelves labeled 'Gay/Lesbian'. Which leaves guys like him out completely, and he'd be pissed about it if he thought there was anything in any of these books that was useful to anybody.

"My apparently not-exactly-straight-after-all stepbrother," Kurt answers, scanning the shelves in front of them and seriously, Puck's kind of surprised they even have this many books about homos on display in Lima. "And I didn't forget, I'm just...dear God, don't tell me Carole found the only copy ever to be sold in this godforsaken town."

Puck opens his mouth to ask what Kurt's looking for, exactly, but before he gets the question out Kurt bends down and grabs a book, wrestling it out from between Sex Tips For Gay Guys and something called First-Timers. It's a little dogeared, like maybe it's been sitting there for awhile, getting shoved around and pawed over by every closet case in town. Puck leans over Kurt's shoulder to read the title, eyes going a little wide as he reaches out to pull the book out of Kurt's hands.

"You're buying your brother a sex manual?"

Kurt blushes and makes a grab for the book, but Puck holds it out of his reach and flips it open.

" _Step_ brother. And it's not a manual. Well, not exactly. Look, if you must know, when I met my first boyfriend Carole bought me a copy. I think she was trying to show me that she supported me unconditionally. It was completely traumatic and frankly I've tried to block out the entire exchange, but the book wasn't completely useless. It helped me feel a little more comfortable about a few things, anyway."

"Yeah, like what? Your shameful sexual fantasies about me?"

"Fantasy. Singular," Kurt says, lips pursed again and Puck considers leaning forward and kissing the tension right back out of him. "But yes, it helped a little to understand why my subconscious was drawn to the very thing I reviled during my adolescent years. I'd give Finn my copy, but it's in L.A. It would serve him right to see his mother's inscription in the front."

Puck laughs at the idea of whatever Up With People bullshit Mrs. H must have written in the front Kurt's copy of The Joy Of Gay Sex, glancing up from the book long enough to grin at him.

"So you've got a copy of this back home?"

"Somewhere," Kurt answers, cheeks flushing as he waves a hand sort of vaguely in front of him, which means he knows exactly where it is.

"Good," Puck says, holding up the book to show Kurt the contents of page 237. "Because I don't know about you, but I've never done this before, and it looks totally hot."

And now Kurt's blushing even harder, hot patches of red marking his cheeks and his neck and dipping below the collar of his wool coat. Puck knows firsthand just how far down his blush goes, and he was only half-serious about making Kurt try what they're doing in the illustration, but now that he's seen Kurt's reaction there's no way he's not going to follow through.

Puck grins and lets Kurt pull the book out of his hands, then he pulls Kurt close and leans in to mouth his way across all that flushed skin on his neck. And yeah, they're making out in the queer section of the bookstore, which is probably a cliche, but Puck doesn't really care. He doesn't care who sees them, either, because Kurt's tilting his head up and gripping Puck's arm with his free hand, eyes closed and breathing hard against Puck's skin.

Then Kurt's fingers dig into his arm and he pulls away with a gasp, eyes wide and unfocused like he's having trouble remembering where he is. Or maybe he's just struggling to remember why they stopped, and Puck can't help him there, because it sure as hell wasn't his idea.

"We should go," Kurt says a second later, pulling himself together with an effort and Puck lets out a laugh and grabs Kurt's hand to pull him toward the front of the store.

The girl who rings them up keeps glancing between them, but Puck doesn't give a damn what she thinks she knows. Then again, maybe she's just wondering why two guys as hot as him and Kurt would need a sex manual in the first place. And it's a valid question, so Puck leans against the counter and turns his back on her to grin at Kurt.

"You really think this is going to work?"

"What?" Kurt asks, distracted as he digs out a credit card that Puck is guessing Burt still pays for, which makes this whole situation even more fucked up.

"Buying Hudson a clue for Christmas. I mean, you can draw him a fucking map if you want, but do you think it's really going to get him into Schue's pants?"

Kurt blushes a brighter shade of red than Puck's ever seen as he glances at the sales girl, signing the receipt and flashing a totally fake smile before he grabs his bag and makes for the door. Puck pushes off the counter and follows him, glancing over his shoulder to see the girl staring after them before he smirks and follows Kurt outside.

When they reach the car he follows Kurt around to the driver's side, pushing the door shut before Kurt can climb in and pinning him against the side of the car.

"That girl in there might know Mr. Schuester, you know," Kurt says, and it's a fair point, because she did look young enough to be in high school. But it's not like Puck outed him or anything; all he said was that Finn had a thing for the guy, it didn't mean anything was going to happen. And considering who they're talking about, it would be a miracle if anything ever did, so Puck's not that worried about it.

He shrugs and leans forward, reaching for Kurt's hand as he brushes their lips together. "Lima's not _that_ small, babe. Even if she is in high school, she could go anywhere. Besides, you're the one who bought a sex book for his brother."

"You'd rather give him a live demonstration?" Kurt asks, mouthing the words against Puck's lips.

And it's an interesting suggestion, but Puck's never been all that good at sharing. Not when it comes to Finn, and definitely not when it comes to Kurt. He growls against Kurt's mouth and tugs the keys out of his slack fingers, pressing one more firm kiss to his lips before he pulls away.

"Fuck that, nobody's seeing you in action but me. And I'm driving, so slide your cute ass into shotgun and let's get this show on the road."

"Where are we going?" Kurt asks, but he doesn't argue when Puck gives him a gentle shove toward the passenger side.

"To fulfill some of those shameful sexual fantasies," Puck answers, and when Kurt raises an eyebrow at him Puck laughs and slides behind the wheel.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually have a copy of The Joy Of Gay Sex in front of me, so I don't know what, if any, illustration is on page 237. All I know is it's in the Sex Toys section of the edition on Google Books.


End file.
